For those named Rachel or otherwise averse to coarse, chauvinistic, or misogynistic language, I suggest reading something else.
You're probably wondering what this video has to do with skiing. Not much actually. I just think it's hilarious and was looking for a good reason to post it. There is one line, however, that's applicable. After the prayer is over, Walker says, "Dad, you made that grace your bitch."
And if you want to ski well, you need to do the same thing with your skis that Ricky Bobby does with the grace: you need to make them your bitches. Or at least show them who's in charge.
JunkieBoy and I were skiing at Solitude, his first day of the year, and his first day on new equipment. The skis are 110s, whereas last year he was on 87s. He was struggling to make turns and keep them under control. His confidence wasn't there.
So the next time up the lift, I asked him "do you want to know the secret to skiing well?" He of course answered in the affirmative. So I told him. Except I didn't actually tell him to make his skis his bitches because a) he wouldn't have understood what that meant, and b) anything you tell a first-grader is bound to be repeated at school. (He'll eventually learn the phrase and what it means, but I can wait. And I'm even OK if he doesn't learn it from me.)
Next run, he showed them who was the boss. He skied great, probably as well as he was skiing last year. So on the lift I asked him, "what happens when you show the skis who's in charge?"
"They do what you tell them to."
"And what happens if you don't show them who's boss?"
"They run away from you."
It's as simple as that.
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Twenty years ago, back when I was just a lad, RD made skis called them the "Bad Dogs." They named the girlie equivalent the "Bad Bitches." (No lie). They were all the rage. So I said, "Daddy? Can I please have some Bad Bitches?" He said, "The Bad Bitch is not a nice ski for a nice young lady like yourself," and bought me the Bad Dogs.
ReplyDeleteI honestly think he wouldn't let me have the Bitches because he didn't want his little girl on a pansy-ass girlie ski. Still doesn't. They were 195s if that gives you any indication of how things have changed.
I am going to remember that slogan the next time I am doing short track and my skates are wobbling from too many crossovers. Now telling my legs to cooperate is a whole different battle. Please provide slogan for them. :)
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