Back to school night

I've never known any strippers. I heard rumors that one of my sister's friends took it up after high school to pay her way through college. But since I was 14 at the time, I had no way to legally verify this.

After high school, a bunch of guys pitched in to hire a stripper for another friend before he shipped off to Navy boot camp. I wasn't actually present, though, because the girl I had a crush on at the time asked me before the "show" began whether I was actually going to stick around.

"Of course not," I said. And sat in the hotel lobby with her (hi, Kim!).

I bring this up simply as context for what I'm going to say next. Because I have no basis for my assertions, being wholly unfamiliar as I am with the behavior of strippers.

However, if I were to imagine how strippers are when they're not on the job, I imagine them being a certain way. And perhaps dressing a certain way. And that way is not how my wife or mom or sisters or most of my neighbors (except for one) typically dress.

So imagine my surprise when I take my son to his first day of kindergarten yesterday, and several of the moms were dressed how I imagine strippers dress on their days off. Maybe I'm uptight or prudish, or maybe that's how it is these days, or maybe it's just a Utah thing, because the moms certainly did not dress that way when we dropped our older daughter off for kindergarten in Idaho.

I went off to work thinking that it was an aberration, a fluke, an oddity of that particular morning and that particular kindergarten class. And then last night I took the kids to back-to-school night. I know the economy is bad and all, but if all these moms are supplementing the family income by working at a strip club, I'm trying to figure out where. Night Moves in Boise had "dancers wanted" on the marquee on our way to the trailhead Saturday. But last I checked, there were no strip clubs in Highland, Utah. Either that, or I just don't know about them. Maybe I should go on more of these night rides everyone is talking about.