Like I’m going to carry a Kleenex

I’ve known one or two cyclists or runners that carry a Kleenex in their pocket so that, as inevitably happens, when they need to blow their nose during a workout, they can politely pause, take out a tissue, address their business, and then dispose of the tissue or put it back in their pocket.

The rest of us are left with little alternative but the good old-fashioned farmer blow. You know what I’m talking about—blowing your nose with no tissue and hoping it doesn’t hit anything. Which can be challenging at 25 mph. Incidentally, I don’t know why this is called a farmer blow, because all the farmers I’ve ever known carry a red bandana handkerchief in their pocket and use that.

Anyway, the obvious downside to this approach is a case of poor aim or insufficient propulsion to clear the orifice. Which is why you should never shake hands with me when I’m wearing cycling gloves. Unless you’re also wearing yours since that pretty much cancels it out.

I’ve heard that cycling shorts are typically black because if you get grease on your hands and wipe them off on your shorts, it doesn’t show. Maybe they should also have a yellow-green panel on the side as kind of a designated wiping place for when the cycling glove has to clear the debris that your respiratory system couldn’t.

The worst situation, of course, is when you think the debris went free and clear but it didn’t. And then ten minutes later you look down at your own shoulder, and there’s a little passenger sitting there. Not that a good flick won’t take care of it, but certainly could be cause for embarrassment in the interim.